Before softness, there was survival

Before stillness, there was chaos. Before devotion, distraction. This is the story of how I came back home slowly, intentionally, and imperfectly.

I didn’t create this space because I had it all figured out. I created it because I was tired of hiding from myself. 2 years ago I was in what I know today was the darkest and lowest place I’ve ever been in.

I was uninspired, depressed and lost. I gained some weight but didn’t see it, wasn’t whole but didn’t feel it and I needed to get out of that whole I put myself in over the past years but didn’t know it.

I had to change but how if I didn’t even know what was wrong with me?

The moment where everything shifted was when after months or maybe even years of underlying unhappiness and sadness I all of a sudden felt nothing anymore - I was numb.

The turning point didn’t come in a single, dramatic moment. It was a slow unraveling - an ache for something more, even when I didn’t yet have the language for it. I wasn’t seeking answers, but somehow the teachings I needed started finding me. It all began with Meditation, slowing down and quieting my mind. Only that way I could find out how I really felt. Shortly after Kabbalah entered my life unexpectedly and it spoke to something deeper than logic - it felt like remembering something I had always known. Around the same time, I started shifting physically too. I became obsessed - not with just looking a certain way - but with becoming the version of me I always felt was waiting underneath the chaos. The more I took care of my body, the more I began to access my spirit. And that’s when everything began to change. Slowly. Imperfectly. But undeniably.

I want to be clear - there wasn’t one teaching, one method, or one philosophy that “saved” me. I’ve drawn from many: Kabbalah, manifestation, ancient wisdom, modern psychology, energy work, even Pilates and yoga. Each one offered me a puzzle piece, but none claimed to be the whole picture. What I’ve learned is that your soul always knows your truth . You just have to get quiet enough to hear it. My journey has been about listening more and seeking less - because deep down we already carry the answers we’re looking for.

I’m gonna go so much more into detail about my personal journey and what I learned returning to myself in this journal - for me to remind myself - I’m still growing and learning - and for you who hopefully takes away a lot from my personal experiences. What I do wanna say right now is that it all starts within YOU.

The moment you realise how much power you hold over your world and that you can be the cause instead of the effect, that life happens for you and not to you - that’s when you can be who you’re meant to be.

This isn’t just my Story. It’s a mirror. A doorway. A reminder. You are allowed to return to yourself. And I hope this spaces helps you do just that.